Happy Authoritative Source Day

My life runs on a very precise identity and access management system. All the components, definitions, and resources are there to get me enabled, schedule my activities, and provide feedback.

My authoritative source assigns my roles:

• ·         driver
• ·         payer
• ·         pancake maker
• ·         shoulder for reclining 

My authoritative source assigns my tasks:

• ·         make pancakes
• ·         take out garbage
• ·         pick up kid from track practice
• ·         listen to interminable story about somebody her mother knows

From my authoritative source I get analytics:

• ·         “How long has this been in the refrigerator?”

and alerts:

• ·         “You are not wearing THAT to the funeral, are you?”

and audit reports:

• ·         “I can’t believe you wore THAT to the wedding.”

My authoritative source approves my requests, while providing context to complete the transaction:

• ·         “Fine, but don’t you dare get drunk.”

Naturally, I am required to provide proper credentials for access:

• ·         Dinner
• ·         Movie
• ·         Take out the garbage

My authoritative source has spawned child processes, one of which paints and plays guitar and sings like an angel, and another one who is a genius whiz at crossword puzzles and starts college in the fall.

My authoritative source ensures that I am properly provisioned with everything I could possibly need to get through my morning, my day, my week. In this way I am not lacking food, beer, clean clothes, attention, affection, or advice that I didn’t even ask for but will get anyway.

My account was in fact transferred more than two decades ago from my original authoritative source, who now spends her winters in Florida and taught me to be a relatively good person. I have been lucky enough to have had, for my entire life, two fully secured, non-repudiable, certified authoritative sources with complete integrity, fallback capabilities, and unconditional love.

Happy Mother’s Day, Lena and Mary.